Today’s advice is about why your feelings for women don’t matter, and I know in hearing that there will be some immediate pushback on that idea,

but in this video I will explain why guys have been socially conditioned to make the mistake of focusing their own feelings too much, and will help you understand why it’s her feelings that matter and how to impact her in a positive way. 

Does This Sound Familiar?

Let me paint a quick picture and you can think for yourself if you have seen this before.

You’re watching a movie or show on TV or a streaming service, let's say it is a rom-com, lots of stuff happens but as it is somewhere in the middle or towards the end, the girl that he has been trying to get with the entire movie, and may be with at this point, suddenly starts to get cold feet and back away and say she is not sure about things with him.

Then, in well acted desperation, the guy says something to her along the lines of “but I love you… you are the only one I care about and the only one for me”.

The girl then suddenly is just overwhelmed with happiness and runs into his arms and they kiss and ride off into the sunset forever in this happy togetherness.

Yeah, IT IS ALL BULLSHIT. You need to get that out of your head immediately. 

Now think about a time in your life, and if you’re a bit older I am sure you have experienced this, and if you’re younger you NEED to continue watching this to understand why you can prevent this from happening,

But think about when it has happened to you when you were with a girl either in early dating stages or even in a relationship.

Your behavior, whether you knew it or not, caused your woman’s attraction level to drop and she started to pull back and act a bit more distant.

It got to the point where she was seriously seriously considering breaking up with you, then she sat you down and had “the talk” saying she needs some space or needs to figure things out.

You then said something like what all the guys in those different movies or shows did: “But I love you so much. I will do anything, you are the only one for me”. 

My guess is she didn’t just snap out of it and go “oh my goodness, you’re right! Tee hee” and you rode off into the sunset. 

She probably wasn’t phased by that, or at least it didn’t really change the direction she was headed in terms of breaking up with you. And if she stayed around, it probably wasn’t for too much longer because the behavior that pushed her away didn’t change on your part. 

Cultural Conditioning

This is the conditioning that is just hammered into our brains from watching Disney movies as a kid to all the teenage and adult rom-coms.

There is this myth or idea present that the man just has to relentlessly pursue and try to in her over, throwing everything emotionally at her and showing or even pleading his love and feelings for her so she finally understands and comes to her senses.

It is essentially focusing on how much the guy’s feelings for her will direct what happens. This is dead wrong. What actually matters is not how the guy feels, it’s about HER feelings for you.

This is why it is important to understand the dynamic that women’s feelings grow at a slower pace than men's AND why it is important for there to be some mystery or obscurity in the way a guy feels for her in the initial dating stages. 

So in the examples mentioned about TV shows and movies, they depict that it just matters that the guy shows a bit more effort and openness to how HE feels about her and she will come to this realization, and it is false. 

Over Romanticizing 

Another area guys make the mistake is in over romanticizing their vision when they just start dating a girl they are really into.

Guys will go on one date, it went well and they think she is sexy, so they start imagining this big future with her already.

The more they do this, the more they get caught up in their own feelings and vision and start acting with those in mind, not understanding the concept that women’s feelings grow slower so their actions are having unintended consequences to her attraction. 

They then start to display their feelings toward her very early on, and it starts to take away the mystery of where they are at with her, all the while well her feelings are in the developing process.

Conclusion

Bottom line is that your feelings for her do not matter when it comes to attraction. What matters is how you make her feel.

This doesn’t matter if it is in the early stages of dating or if you are in a long term relationship, if you get too caught up focusing on your feelings for her and neglect to be attentive to her attraction level for you at that time, it can cause you to act in ways which push her attraction down to a point where she is backing away (often to the point of breaking up with you) and most guys have no clue why and will say it came out of nowhere.

You now no longer have that excuse, after watching this you are no longer in that bucket of most guys.