If you’re not being mysterious when you first start dating a woman, then you are putting yourself at a disadvantage and there is a higher chance she is going to lose interest in you quickly. 

Women Like A Challenge

Some women may completely deny it, but they generally like a challenge when it comes to dating and finding a man.

If you are way too straightforward and don’t add any mystery, women can get disinterested in you really quickly and their attraction level not only fails to grow, but most likely fades away

Think of it like engaging women's emotions where discomfort starts to create intrigue, and intrigue creates attraction.

Don’t Give Everything Away At Once

When you start dating a woman, the tendency for most men is to put her on a pedestal and go into this phase of trying to get her to like you more. I used to make the big mistake of being an open book, because in my head I was a really great guy and have no problem telling my experiences and all about me to show her that 

“Hey, I am great. You definitely want to be interested in me”

I would talk about my upbringing, family, what I like to do, what I am attracted to, what I like about her, about past relationships, ask what they are looking for in a guy. Everything would be laid out on the table up front because TV taught me I need to prove to her all my amazing qualities, and no funny business.

This is a mistake, because it would always lead to the woman backing off a bit and the connection would start to fizzle out very quickly, even though I thought it was going great. In the early dating stage, you need to get her to become more comfortable with you to engage her emotions at a higher level. 

Get her to talk about herself as much as possible, while revealing little bits about you over time. Your job is to get her attraction increased, and she is accepting the challenge of getting information about you out piece by piece.

When you are taking her out of her comfort zone by not giving her all the information about you right away, it starts to capture her emotions and she starts wondering more about you, and in turn, attraction raises.

Being Mysterious Shows Confidence

Confidence is always number 1 when it comes to attracting women, and keeping them. The women you’re dating will have dates with other guys where they will be trying to impress her and talk about themselves. By NOT doing that, you’re going to be in complete contrast to those guys. 

 While they try to impress her with their work and life story, you’ll answer any questions she asks on the date by being succinct, friendly and charming but you’re always turning it back to her and learning more, making her talk about herself.

This mystery shows a differentiation from other men she has gone on dates with, and you exude confidence because you don’t need to try to impress her.

You’re secure with yourself as a man, and you’re not looking for her validation. I’ve had many women literally tell me “you’re different; something seems different about you but I am not sure what”.

What they feel is the growing comfort of having a great time on the initial dates talking and opening up to me working with me being a bit mysterious. These two forces significantly raise attraction and interest. This is different from their dates with most guys..   

Women Fall Slower Than Men

Women’s feelings grow slow than men's. You may not believe it, but it is true. Men often fall in love with the woman they’re dating within a few weeks or a month.

Women can take many months to fall in love. So that does this mean for you?

It means if you take away all the mystery and just pour your heart out about how much you like her and how amazing she is and “how there is no other woman for you”

There is a high chance this will stop her in her tracks and she may start to back away. At this stage, most guys panic and start to ask what’s wrong and what they’ve done, and her attraction starts to go down in response to this needy behavior.

This isn’t me saying to not be excited or incredibly happy if things are going well at the beginning with the women you’re dating

Obviously that is the feeling we are all after, but you have to understand how your actions will impact her emotions.

You need to exercise discipline and pay attention to her emotions and the signs she is giving. Women fall in love slowly, if you let her know exactly how you feel so soon, you may cause her to back away.

Be aware.

Mystery In Long Term Relationships

This advice isn’t just useful for the beginning when you just started dating her. 

You should make a continued effort to bring the element of mystery and surprise when you are in a long term relationship.

The best way to do this, is not be complacent and continue to surprise your girlfriend or wife with dates.

You want to keep her off guard though, you don’t want to do the same routine every single week.

Change it up, because as soon as complacency sets in, you will notice a difference in her attraction level and you will then have to make sure you correct that before it’s too late.