If you have a habit of getting overly fixated very quickly on one woman that you just started to date, only for things to fizzle out soon after, I’ll give you my personal cautionary tale of how thinking in scarcity causes you to miss out on opportunities.

Scarcity Mindset

So let’s call it what it is...if you have the habit of just getting completely fixated and diving all your emotions into one woman you just started dating, it’s because you have a scarcity mindset and this mirage thought process of needing to find “the one” for you.

I’ll tell you a story of mine shortly which truly illustrates how your mindset causes a ripple effect into your actions, and ultimately, your results.

Now, as a disclaimer, it doesn’t mean you can’t really be into a woman after the first date because she was really cool on that date, but what it means is to approach everything with intelligence not just emotion.

The reason I say it’s a scarcity mindset is because this one girl now is your sole your focus and you become blind to any other options around you.

You think, OK. I need to see where this goes and make it work. You’re basically putting all your eggs in one basket and the reality is you don’t know her and it’s a poor mindset to have because what ultimately happens is you start to put pressure on yourself and put an expectation on what the outcome should be.

That outcome is your forever person...

My Fumble

So here’s my little story as a learning lesson for you guys in how having that scarce mindset makes you do stupid things and ultimately paying the price for it.

I’m sure most of you watching have your own version of this story, while maybe not verbatim, the themes are the same. 

I’ve spoken before about the girl who I thought was the woman of my dreams who worked at the same place as I did while I was in my going college years.

 So what did I do? What TV told me to do. 

I was just kind of there as a “friend” when she was going through all this stuff I was just basically providing emotional support, which I really shouldn’t have been doing. At one point she was in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend of that time , but she would hint her interest in me Which I was happy about.

I was out with friends celebrating New Year’s, and it was close to midnight where I was, and the bar me and my friends were at was in sort of the midtown area of the city I live, which was close to the retail place I worked at.

So there’s another girl at the bar with her friends and she actually had previously worked at the same retail place and I knew she liked me and had high attraction for me from when she used to flirt with me while working together.

It was almost midnight and she came over and said hi and we chatted, she then started to get closer to me. She went in to make out with me and do you know what I did: BACKED AWAY and said “I can’t, I'm seeing somebody”. 

Just so you know, this girl lived close by to that bar so things could have escalated to her place for a fun night because she was really into me.

You know how embarrassing it is to even think back and know I did that! It’s crazy, that’s absolutely the wrong move. So honorable of me, except it was fueled by a scarcity mindset where I thought hey that other girl (who was already in a messy situation emotionally and isn’t available) does like me.

My mind was complete fixed on an outcome I dreamed of, which was so far from reality and because of that I missed out on a great time and who knows what else.

What I Should Have Done

If I was acting with an abundance mindset I would made out with her and who knows what else that evening would have lead to. They ability to be confident and seize opportunities when they show up are what makes a man more successful and fulfilled in life. The more opportunities like this that are seized, the closer you are to finding that one person to focus on.

In my case, I missed out on a connection with someone else because I was to focused on my story built of a life with this one woman when that was far from reality.

Conclusion

So live with an abundance mindset and you will be better prepared for people who enter your life without tying yourself to a conclusion you’ve made up in your head.

Strengthening your mindset will ultimately allow you to take better actions without living in fear, which leads to more fulfilling opportunities.

Acting without fear will also help raise the attraction of women you are dating, so you can see the importance of how a philosophy and mindset shift is key to having a happier and more successful dating and relationship life, however that may look to you.