Today we have an email from a guy who went out on a first date with a girl and seems to really like her, but is getting mixed signals in return. 

In this you’re going to see another case of how men get way in front of a women’s pace and it's a good reminder on how it can be detrimental to their actions and damage their mindset. 

So let me just read his email:

Email

I went on this first date with a lady I really like. 

I have already made the mistake of telling her how much I like her, she clearly told me that she doesn't want to date. 

 But she made out with me and regrets it after. I stopped talking to her. 

 I recently met her and her body language told me she wants me, but I still don’t want to make the move based on her words. 

How do I approach this so that I don't blow it up? 

I really want to be with this lady on a long term basis.

Focusing On An Outcome

Okay so first thing I would say is that you had been on one date with this lady, and you have already built up this pressure and story in your head on an outcome.

You’ve already decided that this lady is who you really want to be with long term, which were your words.

This is a scarcity mindset, because you said that she made out with you but regrets it afterwards, so I’m not sure if she told you that she regrets it directly or how you know, but 

You’re extremely fixated on her, so obviously you’re very visually attracted. But you’ve only had 1 date so you need to step back a bit. 

By fixating so much on this outcome of wanting to be with her long term already, you’ve now put added pressure on yourself. This is already making you second guess and worry about making a move based on her words or not wanting to “blow it up”, as you said.

The issue is you really don’t know this lady at all so I’m not sure how you can determine she’s right for you long term.

Just because she's hot to you, don’t make the mistake of being blinded because of just the physical features. 

What A Women Says Vs Does

If you’re hanging out with her and she’s giving you all the signs, and that body language.

You should make a move to kiss her when it feels right. Don’t hesitate if you’re getting signs. 

Generally what a woman says vs her actions are totally different. If she backs away or rejects you, don’t feel bad about it or take it personally. Just take that information and don’t force it on her.

You have to think to yourself, if she is being flirty but backing away if you try to kiss her, you shouldn’t be acting all in to her anymore. But, in general, you should not apologize for being attracted to her.

You Can’t Rush Her

You cannot rush her to try and lock her down into dating you. That is the fastest way to never see her again.

Women’s feelings develop slower than men’s, and in this case she’s telling you she doesn’t want to date. It may be the case that she just doesn’t want anything serious right now

And if you try to force it, it’s not going to convince her. You trying to prove WHY she should be dating you or be serious with you will only push her away more.

Like I said earlier, her signals may be very confusing, but if you want to go on dates with her don’t do it with the expectation to make her a long term girlfriend. Just have fun but treat her as a romantic interest and that you’re unapologetically interested in her like that. 

In other words, if you get the signal to kiss her and make moves, don’t hesitate. That’s going to signal your strength and confidence, as a man, and like said if she is playing games or backing away, don’t act bothered. 

You have to have an abundance mindset, you don’t care if she's doing that because you can find 10 other girls to ask out and have fun on dates that will kiss you and be more what you’re looking for. 

Conclusion 

But overall, and he had a picture with his email profile and he looks pretty young.

You have to fix your mindset and understand your worth.  

You went on one date and are already saying you want to be with her long term, you need to slow down and understand she’s on a probationary period too. Just don’t get blinded by the booty, you have to get to know her personality more.

If you don’t, this is where most guys, including myself for a long time way back, get into trouble and end up with shitty personality women because we went head over heels for looks and we ignore so many red flags

At the end of the day, she just may not be ready for anything serious, and may not even be a good candidate for that at all personality wise when you know her more

You have plenty of time and there are plenty of women; don’t stop learning these important tips and put them into action.