If you’ve ever had a girl break up with you but still hang around your social media and like some of your posts, leaving you a bit confused, stick around

because I have an email from a guy who was in that situation and it’s good for guys to learn what he did right and wrong in his scenario.

Let’s get into the email

(Note that anything in italics is the from the emailer and the bold text is my response/thoughts).

 Email

He wrote in the subject line “my experience, if you care”.. So by that it comes off as him feeling down in the dumps. Dude, of course I care this is why I do what I do.

Wanted to write you my own experience after seeing the description on your "The mistake with no-contact" video. Maybe you can find my experience useful for a video. I'll keep it short as you asked.

I'm 27 she is 26. I had my ex-partner leave me abruptly shortly after I met her close friends and family members and things were going well. After breaking up, I immediately took her out of my social media, threw reminders of her to the trash can, deleted our common calendar etc. because it was not my first break up in my life and I knew what to do at this stage.

I am not sure how long you were dating for but if it was a short time and you met her friends/family that may have been way too soon and it could have sped up her departure. 

But Good job on that part post break-up. Guys that is along the lines of what you should do. If she breaks up with you unilaterally, her message is clear: she doesn’t value your time so you don’t spend any more time on her. 

No trying to beg her back or convince her to give you another try. 99.9% of the time her mind is made up and at that very moment nothing you can say is going to convince her to come back; even if she does, it will be short lived (maybe even as pity) and she will bail again. 

Afterwards though, she started to watch every single thing I put up on my side-social media, which is a public art account that I put up my paintings, sketches, merchandise. 

She started to like things there at night, watching every single post I put up there, put likes even on other people sharing my material. I also have an amateur music thing going on and I could see in the professional dashboard that she was listening to my songs, around 100 times total streams in 3 months post breakup.

So because you took that no contact step when she broke up with you. She started to miss you or wonder what you were up to, since you gave her that radio silence and absence, so she started orbiting around liking stuff on your socials, and listening to your songs. 

She may have not known you could see who listens to it, but social media, obviously, she would know you can see her likes. 

In the meantime I tried to ignore these. I frequented the gym more, started seeing other women, started to apply to different jobs to keep myself super busy. As well as doing art and music on the side to socialize and get some affirmation and attention on my abilities to pick up my confidence back. 

Again, to other guys, what he did here is great. He was keeping focused on some goals, seeing other women, staying healthy by working out. This is exactly the way to do it after being broken up with. 

This was going very well until it wasn't. I lost my mental strength at some point after constant breadcrumbs from her side so I reached out to her very calmly and we started casually chatting really fast because obviously we missed each other.

So he admittedly says he lost his mental strength here and this is that problem where fear plays a role. If you have that strong mindset where you don’t let somebody waste your time who doesn’t deserve it, it becomes way easier not to give in because you will be living in abundance. 

When you reach out and casually chat, it’s communicating that what you did she did to you is cool and you’re there almost appeasing.

She now gets her fix of chatting with you but isn’t coming to see you in a romantic way or going on a date. It’s basically like you welcomed yourself into the friend zone.

I know it is challenging, but time and time again this is what happens when you don’t show strength.

It was going great and she was down to meet me somewhere before I even asked about it. Until she started to act cold again where I stopped texting her. This made her reach back, texting me once a week and checking in on me. 

Well you thought it was going great, but really you were just being her emotional crutch where she wasn’t with you but was able to chat with you and get that fix.

When you reached out because she was all over your socials, that’s fine because her doing that shows she missed you, you should have directly asked her to come see you for a date (not as friends) and if she declined, go right back into no contact and move on.

Chatting with her via text over a period of time is not doing anything, it just shows weakness and you're allowing her to waste your time.

It went nowhere though since when I one day asked to meet her for a coffee, she started to freak out saying that she is happy she broke up with me (out of nowhere she starts saying these) and we got into a heated argument which led me to tell her that I'm blocking her out and blocked her from everywhere.

Even the places I've forgotten about.

I know it can be frustrating, but do not ever waste your time arguing with women. You have to keep your cool and be calm, and essentially do not put up with that. 

Arguing is pointless; women are driven by emotion so there is no winning any argument no matter how logical. And if you stay calm and just say don’t treat me like that, and walk away, she may not like it but it’s strong and women will respect that.

Most important of all, you respect yourself. 

Blocking her everywhere at this point is a wise move in my opinion because clearly her behavior is ridiculous.

You don’t need to put up with that kind of erratic behavior man, there are way better women out there. Don’t get fixated on this one. Is this the type of behavior you want to deal with forever?

Way better, more chill women in the sea.

A couple of months later I release an album and she finds the new account I create for music and puts a like there. I do not engage the slightest. Not even clicking on the profile to check out the picture or anything. 

I'm quite over it now but I feel this will haunt my future experience in dating for a while. That's it yeah.

I can feel the low energy in the email and frustration but man you got so many good things going for you.

You have your music and creativity; Focus on that stuff. Look at the way she acted when you asked her out again, completely erratic behavior. Don’t give your power away for that.

There are so many other women in the world, and we all go through these experiences.  You’re 27 man! I didn’t start to clue in and really research all my mistakes until I was in my 30s! 

I just kept doing the same stupid incorrect things wondering why my relationships would fizzle out, until finally something clicked in my head. 

You are young and have so much time. If this haunts your future dating experiences, the only person to blame is you. Not trying to be harsh, but you need to change your mindset. This is a minor speedbump in life. 

Dating is a numbers game, the more positive things you put into your life, the better your opportunities in the dating world will be. So snap out of that mindset and keep focusing on your goals; great women will come along when you least expect it, but you have to be prepared mentally for that.

So start now, you are in control of your actions. Everything else you cannot control. But you’re young, man; move forward in a positive manner and continue all those other great things you were doing. 

Breakups suck but nobody else is going to come and save you; take those incremental steps every day and in a short amount of time you’re going to feel way better and good things will happen.