Most guys chase after their ex because they want her back after she broke up with him. But the truth is even guys who don’t necessarily want her back will often chase her as well.

Today I’m going to talk about why chasing your ex is like an addiction, what makes us do it, and the actual right approach to take. 

Before I jump in though, if you have recently been dumped or are struggling with a breakup, I have put together a FREE checklist for YOU called 5 Steps To Get Your Ex Back, Or Someone Better.

This free guide that gets you on the right track with 5 effective steps. It will give you clarity and direction during this painful time. Click the above link to get your free guide.

Can You Relate?

I’m gonna give an example from my disaster decade of dating, and this may be relatable to some younger guys,  a few relationships in my 20s where acting beta, i was really good at ignoring red flags.

Because in my mind I was supposed to do whatever it takes to make a relationship work and I would look past a lot of red flags they had.

There were a couple times where I would be hit by the red flags they would impact the way I felt or my confidence in the relationship, but I wouldn’t do anything about it. I wouldn’t have self-respect and leave fully or stand up for myself.

My behavior in both those relationships of acting weak being a pushover, and being complacent ultimately led to the girl, losing attraction and breaking up with me.

But what is interesting is that even during the period of when they were starting to lose attraction for me to the point of breaking up with me, it was obviously a rough time of a lot of arguments and them being bitchy because they were unhappy with me.

And during that time period I would have my own thoughts and feelings that I would be way happier or single and I wouldn’t even care if they broke up with me.

Rejection Leads To Fear

When they finally broke up with me, this consuming panic would overtake, and I would be trying to plead and get them back.

This is because rejection generally leads to becoming obsessed or consumed in wanting her/wanting to get her back. It’s such a trip because even though I knew I would be happier not in those relationships. I would still try to win them back.

It’s almost like it became a competition. And with one of them, we would get back together and when I look back at it now, I can tell it was almost out of sympathy for me because obviously it didn’t last long and then we go through that cycle again till we were fully broken up forever.

But it’s this fear of scarcity and not being able to find somebody better, which makes it almost like an addiction to try and get her back and get everything back on track. So I want you to think of a time in your life or maybe she broke up with you and you weren’t even convinced that she was the one for you but almost instinctively you had this notion to try and fix it.

Overcoming The Chase

One of the best ways to overcome addiction is to focus on something else. This is why I talk about mindset being so important because you really are in control of how you respond and what impacts you .

You don’t control a lot externally that goes on, but you do control how you think and how. You can try and control the outcome to a certain degree but ultimately you only control what you think and where you act.

So if you have the right mindset of abundance, you won’t get this fear that you won’t find anybody else if she breaks up with you. And if you don’t have that fear, you’re not gonna start chasing after her.

So when we talk about one of the best way to overcome an addiction is to focus on something else. That’s what you’re doing when you have the right mindset you’re gonna focus on you. Even if you want her back, you can’t focus on her if she breaks up with you.

What’s gonna happen is you’re gonna get consumed with trying to just win her back and your focus and actions you take will be dependent on how that’s going. Because if you take the right action with a mindset of abundance and focus on you level yourself up, that’s gonna give you the best chance to get her back, not trying to convince her or chase her.

This addiction of chasing your ex is solvable by having the right mindset and understanding that there’s no need for fear because there’s a world of abundance for you.

I’ll leave you with a Jim Rohn quote, and he said “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

And based on my experience, the pain of discipline is incredibly more rewarding and forward moving. You must be disciplined to not chase your ex and understand it’s a baseless fear.

Get My Help

If you have recently been dumped or are struggling with a breakup, get your FREE 5 Steps To Get Your Ex Back, Or Someone Better checklist, link is in the description, and start applying them TODAY and you will see the transformation in yourself.