What if I told you that the moment you think you’re losing her… is actually the moment she’s hoping you finally step up?

This doesn’t mean acting like you’re in a movie and performing a grand gesture or overtalking about how much you love her to try and fix things, but it means stepping up with a version of you that she hasn’t seen in a long time, or maybe even ever.

The truth is, a woman doesn’t pull away because she’s done, she pulls away because she doesn’t feel led. 

So in this video I am going to give you 3 actionable steps that you can do to start becoming that man she is desperately craving for you to be, and step up into the leader that reignites your relationship. 

Before I get into it, if you’re struggling in your marriage or long-term relationship and the complete collapse of it is looking like a real possibility, I encourage you to go watch my free Relationship Rebuild masterclass after you finish watching this video. 

The link for the free masterclass is in the description below.

Okay let’s jump in.

Her Distance Is A Signal

It’s easy as a man to interpret your wife or partner pulling away from you emotionally as a complete failure and rejection. 

The problem is, when men do this it sends you down a path of taking many actions that are doing more harm to your relationship than anything else. 

These actions are spawned from that fear of failure or rejection that make us as men think that the emotional distance that is growing between you and her is her way of telling you that she is done with the relationship, or very close to being done.

This is almost never the case though, not at that moment, it’s actually her nervous system giving you a signal that says she can’t trust the way you have been showing up in the relationship where it counts during times of uncertainty, conflict, or being under pressure.

She is not actually pulling away from you, but she is pulling away from the version of you who has been complacent for a long period of time and collapses during your queues to show up as the emotional leader. 

Every woman has an emotional threshold, and it’s different for all, but they all have a threshold. 

This has nothing to do with drama, but it’s an emotional threshold that when a man lacks groundedness to be able to throttle her heightened emotions, aka being a masculine leader, that role now falls onto her.

So when she ends up holding the emotional weight of the relationship for too long, and reaches her threshold, that is when she starts to pull away and what you think is rejection is self-protection on her end. 

Why Emotional Pullback Isn’t Actually About You

To us men though, our brain works completely differently. So maybe you even recognize, okay I have been a bit complacent recently in our relationship lately…. but aside from that what did I do wrong, why is she pulling away?

You replay the latest arguments in your head and if you said something really bad that was the final straw, but  her emotional pullback is almost never about the last fight, or the last thing you said…it’s about the long-term pattern of how you’ve been showing up.

She’s reacting to the accumulated weight of carrying the emotional burden I mentioned, for too long.

Her not initiating as much with you or sharing her inner world with you anymore is her way of conserving energy because she doesn’t feel emotionally supported… So to her, what is the point anymore? 

It’s like a battery. If she has to power both of you emotionally, her battery drains twice as fast. Eventually, there is no point in her recharging that battery anymore so she powers off just to survive.

But the beautiful thing about emotional distance is this - it is reversible, fast… IF you step into the masculine leadership role you are supposed to.  

So let's get into the 3 steps you can take which is going to help turn this all around for you and get you set up to start rebuilding that trust and respect on her end.

STEP # 1 - You Create Emotional Safety Through Stillness, Not Action

When she pulls back, your first job isn’t to respond to her,  your first job is to steady the ship.

This means not chasing her and proving to her how much you love her by telling her “we need to talk” and getting her into long conversations so that you can over-explain as much as possible that you need her.

If you think she is pulling away because you haven’t told her how much you loved her enough recently, as much as it is nice to hear that from you, that type of emotional vomiting is not going to save you in this situation. 

Stillness is a masculine signal. It communicates to her that you’re not afraid of the distance, that you’re not collapsing and that you’re approaching the situation in a calm, and not panic-filled way.

You have to create that emotional safety that has been missing and take the emotional leadership role back from her shoulders, and as part of that you have to communicate to her through your presence that you’re a strong enough man emotionally to contain hers.

Okay, STEP # 2 is Rebuilding Polarity Through Emotional Direction

Most men think space is passive,  but emotional space is an opportunity for direction.”

The reason I said stillness creates emotional safety is because you lead with your energy before you lead with your words.

SO as part of this you have to take initiative in your own life to rebuild discipline and get back into your masculine rhythm.

If you’ve just been going through the motions in your life OUTSIDE of the relationship, that energy and complacency is going to seep into your relationship and start driving that wedge between you and her.

When she sees you moving toward a stronger version of yourself — not because you are doing it for her but because you’re taking initiative as a man that chooses to be — it helps to reactivate the polarity between you.

She’s watching your direction. Not your explanation of the direction.

And finally STEP # 3: Lead Without Pressure

When the distance softens, and it will, you don’t rush in. You have to guide the moments with her by leading with gentle curiosity instead of interrogation or trying to prove to her your changes.

When you’re communicating with her, your tone has to be grounded and you have to be making soft eye contact.

Even if she starts sharing with you again and opens up a bit more about what she is feeling and why that distance was created, your emotional intensity should be low and steady. 

Allow her to feel her feelings, and the key is to validate the way she is feeling without trying to counter the words that she is saying. 

You need to validate the way she feels, even if you do not agree with the underlying premise. 

When she does lean into you a bit more now that you start showing up as a calm leader, her emotions may get intense at random times because she is going to be testing this emotional steadiness that you’re presenting. 

If she feels you can handle her heart slowly… she’ll start to give you more of it again over time. 

Leadership Closes The Gap

When you stop reacting to her emotional shifts and start leading yourself… she feels it instantly.

A woman feels safest when a man is internally anchored, but there is a difference between emotionally detached and emotionally anchored.

When you are able to learn the skills and become that emotionally anchored masculine leader, it allows her to relax into her feminine energy and you will notice the way she is around you.

Everything from her tone,looking at you differently, sharing a bit more again and opening up, this is all part of the attraction slowly re-sparking because you decided to step into that masculine leader role and create the polarity that is needed to make her feel safe emotionally. 

Women fall back in love because you become the man she feels she can trust again, not because you tell her she can trust you.  

Conclusion

So… if your wife or partner is pulling away emotionally, don’t panic.

If you’re in this exact situation and it has just been festering for a while and nothing changes, you can’t afford to guess your way through this.

I invite you to click on the link in the description of this video below and watch the FREE Relationship Rebuild masterclass.

I walk you through the exact framework that I use that has helped so many men save their marriages from the brink of collapse by teaching how to rebuild respect and create emotional safety. It is the fastest way to really turn your life around and make the changes your wife is dying for you to. 

Thanks for watching, if this video has helped you, please hit the like button and subscribe to the channel as well. 

I’ll catch you guys in the next episode.