When trust breaks in a marriage… it’s not just about lies or betrayal.
Sometimes, it’s the trust that you’ll show up emotionally for her. 

That you’ll handle things with strength and she can lean on you when she’s scared or hurting.

So when she says, “I don’t trust you anymore,” what she often means is:
“I don’t trust who you’ve been showing up as.”

And the truth is, most men will argue back and try to reason with their wife or partner to let them know that “they haven’t done anything that should cause trust to be lost”.

The problem is, the majority of the time, having your wife’s full trust has nothing to do with being logical, keeping promises, or always being faithful. 

Losing or building her true trust is done through one main area, how you are with emotional consistency.

So today, in this video, that is what I am going to talk to you about. How to rebuild trust in your marriage even if your wife’s walls are high and you feel hopeless because it seems like you’re the only one trying.

And if you really do feel hopeless in your marriage or relationship and you want a path that actually works to turn it around, my free masterclass walks you through the exact step-by-step framework I teach those who are in my Relationship Rebuild program that saves marriages and shows you how to lead your life.

The link for the free masterclass is in the description below. 

Definitely check that out after this video if you are tired of the hopeless feeling and want to have a thriving, happy relationship again. 

Let’s get into the steps to take to start rebuilding that trust.

The Reason Trust Breaks

When we traditionally think about trust being lost in a relationship, and you can ask some of your friends or family members to see the answers THEY give that WILL probably confirm what I am about to say, 

But when asked, the majority of people will tell you that trust is broken when somebody is caught in a big lie or multiple lies, or that one of the spouses is caught having an affair.

And yes, they would be accurate to say that those extracurricular events will certainly do damage to trust. Those are a given.

But not everybody out there is cheating or being a pathological liar. 

So when we talk about regular relationships where none of those extracurriculars are happening, yet the relationship is teetering on the edge and your wife says that she doesn’t trust you anymore, 

This kind of trust being lost does not happen over a single moment, it is the type of trust that erodes slowly, and quietly, over time through small inconsistencies. 

This is all those little emotional times when she didn’t sense you being grounded.

Every time you defended yourself instead of validating her…

Every time you promised change but reverted back to the same ol’ you under pressure…

In each of these tiny moments, a small piece of her safety chipped away.

And I know — it can be frustrating to hear, because in a lot of those moments you probably MEANT to change or you were trying to help the situation by trying your best.

You thought, “If I just fix the problem, she’ll see I care.”

But what she actually needed wasn’t fixing — it was your presence. She needed to feel that when her world was spinning, yours stayed steady.

That’s what women mean when they say, “I can’t trust you.”

They’re not talking about your ability to take control, they’re talking about emotional leadership. She can’t trust your emotional steadiness

The paradox for men who want to save their marriage is that when trust is broken and they feel like they are losing their wife, most men flip it into high gear and start trying harder because they believe that this signal of effort is what their wife has been craving: talking more, promising nice things more, pleading and professing their love and how much they care about her.. more.

But all that extra stuff actually makes her feel even less safe… because it feels like you’re trying to manage her emotions and tick off a bunch of boxes, rather than being a leader.

”Trust Me, I’ve Changed”

Men love to use some variation of logic when emotions run high. Obviously some men are better at it than others, but overall it’s what we are trained to do. Solve problems.

But when your wife’s emotions are wounded, logic sounds like distance. It feels like cold air to her when she’s asking for warmth.

When she says, “How do I know things will be different?” She’s not actually asking for a presentation and checklist of proof.

What she is really asking for is energy, for your tone, your body language, your calm strength to signal that this time… she’s safe; and she’s going to be able to be safe forever.

But if your response to her asking how things will be different is, “You can trust me, I’ve changed,” she doesn’t feel that. That is about as useful to her as an umbrella in a hurricane.

She just hears words being said by you to try to convince her to lower her guard.

We have to be very truthful to ourselves. Nobody has ever been able to get trust by just saying ”trust me” or “do you think you can trust me now? I swear I’ve changed”

You have to become the kind of man who no longer needs to ask.

Because when she sees you hold composure in a conversation that used to trigger you...

When she watches you stay steady while she’s still cold, and sees you’re not just saying things so she lowers her guard, that’s going to impact her nervous system in a relaxing way.

This emotional evidence that you provide her is what starts to rebuild trust, not explanations or asking her very very sincerely. 

Trust: Man vs. Woman  

To a man, trust means “I believe what you say.”
To a woman, trust means “I feel safe in how you make me feel.”

That’s a massive difference. And once you understand that, the way you approach things should change drastically.

When a woman trusts you, she doesn’t just think you’re honest —
She feels she can be honest around you. She doesn’t have to hide her emotions or manage your reactions, and trust that whatever she shares with you won’t be turned back on her with intensity.

Think about that.

If she doesn’t feel emotionally safe, or trust you, she won’t open up, not because she’s trying to punish you, but because her system doesn’t yet feel secure in your frame.

Road to Rebuilding Trust

I am just going to drop a few shifts that you can use to start to rebuild trust faster and deeper than anything else.

Number 1. Stop trying to manage Her Emotions…. 

Okay…?

The moment you stop reacting to her moods and start anchoring them, she feels it immediately.

When she says something sharp and you stay calm instead of defensive… that’s part of  rebuilding trust.

Every time you choose composure over reaction, you are providing small trails of evidence that you’re safe.

Number 2. Speak Through Actions, Not Explanations

If you’re truly truly changing and growing as a man and as a leader, she will start to feel it before she hears it.

Don’t announce your plan to her and tell her all the wonderful things you’re doing or going to do in order to get her to trust you again and prove to her how much you care.

She’s not going to listen to any of that.

What matters is not telling her your plan, but living your plan through your new energy and actions. That will do all the talking for you. 

And finally, number 3. Reconnect with Mission

I completely understand that there are so many factors that can get in the way of your mission or things you love to do. The longer a marriage or relationship goes, the easier it is to get into complacency and go with the motions, and just blame everything on not having time or now kids are getting in the way. 

The reality is, we all have the same 24 hours in a day and there are tons of people putting great use to these hours who have the same responsibilities (if not more) as you.,

So it’s just easier to make excuses as to why your missing has got put on the backburner, and not to do these things (whether it’s working out and getting healthy, levelling up by reading books, or working on a side hustle or trying to improve your skills to get a promotion). 

This is a big problem in the dynamic of unsuccessful long term marriages and relationships because men who lack mission become emotionally inconsistent, because without that mission/purpose that they are going after, their identity becomes enveloped in the status of the relationship.

So everything (good or bad) is now dependent on how your wife feels about you. 

When you reclaim purpose BEYOND her, again,  your health, your work, your spiritual leadership, your energy shifts from needy and reliance on her  to grounded.

And when she feels you’re living from purpose again, that’s when she feels safe trusting you — her internal emotions and feminine energy essentially has no choice. 

She Trusts Me Again?

So  when she starts to feel safe again, it won’t be obvious. And what men do not realize is that she’s not going to come out and say, hey.. Okay we’re good. I trust you again.

She’s actually going to test it.

She’ll bring up the past. She’ll question your patience. She’ll create moments to see if your new calm is real or not.

Don’t get discouraged. That’s confirmation testing. She’s seeing if this new version of you is stable enough to build on.

I look back and laugh at how clueless I really was in my younger years when navigating romantic relationships with women. I had no idea about testing or the polarity dynamic, and it hurt me for a long time because when I was unknowingly being tested, I would fail over and over again. 

So don’t be foolish to think that, nah my wife is great she would never do anything like that to play games. You have to understand that it often happens unconsciously for a woman because it’s like her body is running defense system tests when she may not even know she is doing it. 

Make sure you’re prepared and understand you can’t fake the presence and energy required to be a proper calm, masculine leader and rebuild that trust up with her.  

Conclusion 

If your marriage is very rocky right now, like….divorce is a real possibility rocky, and nothing you’ve been trying has worked, I promise you, this will. 

Click on the link in the description to watch my free Relationship Rebuild masterclass and take action. 

I am telling you the faster you realize there are way more things in your control to turn your life and relationship around, and faster you take action to correct those things, you will not only be able to save your marriage but you will feel a complete 180 in the way you approach life.

You have 1 life, I encourage you to make it the very best you can. I waited over a decade to hope that things would just naturally get better in my love life, or I just thought I was getting the wrong woman every time and had bad luck. 

But I kept getting the same results and I had to realize that nobody else is responsible for the results I was getting.

Even if you’re not on the brink of divorce just yet but things have just not been going great lately, go watch the masterclass because it will help you.

And If this VIDEO helped you out, please go ahead and click the like button so YouTube can help find other men who are struggling right now, and subscribe to the channel as well. 

I’ll catch you guys in the next episode.